When founding a new business you are in the unique position where every decision is indeed your own. Now that you beat the odds and are in that special 10% of businesses that don’t fail shortly out of the gate you will be faced with one of the most difficult prospects in leadership — giving up total control.
To be successful beyond a one man band you need to hire a great team and realize that, no matter what culture alignment you may have created at your baby’s birth, people are different. Keep alignment with top level company goals and values and leave the solutions of future problems to the hands of the team you hired. As former Apple CEO Steve Jobs famously said, “It doesn’t make sense to hire smart people and tell them what to do; we hire smart people so they can tell us what to do.”
Two clear signs you are looking to join the ranks of the other 90% are:
#1
Asking your team an opinion on something you have already decided on and are not willing to change. In other words — giving people a false choice. Like the parent asking a child, “Would you rather hold my hand, or wander out on your own into traffic and get yourself killed?” You are not actually, hopefully, giving them option ‘B’. Worse yet, as illustrated, when you go down this road there is a tendency to stack the option deck so the only ‘valid’ choice is to choose what you have already decided is best by default. It doesn’t work for raising kids and it will not work for raising a team to take your business beyond where it was possible for you to do alone.
#2
Homer Simpson: Aw, you can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. Forfty percent of all people know that.
If you are really dug in and the first option doesn’t work another sure fire backup plan is to find people on your side. You will find them. That’s the beauty of this backup plan. The problem, however, is now you have started down a road of division amongst the ranks. Subconsciously you will be biased in the future to lean more on your supporters for feedback when it is most likely someone from the rest that will be giving you the best advice.
The good news is that these signs don’t need to be followed. Pay attention. Be selfaware. If you see yourself going down these paths and know it is not the way to achieve greatness — then do something about it! Unless you actually are Elon Musk then being the smartest person in the room is the first sign your team needs an upgrade. You cannot realize achievement beyond your own limits without others doing things better than you could ever dream of.
My father started a business in 1969. It was in the plastics industry and, yes, the “The Graduate” was right:
Mr. McGuire: I want to say one word to you. Just one word. Benjamin: Yes, sir. Mr. McGuire: Are you listening? Benjamin: Yes, I am. Mr. McGuire: Plastics.
Benjamin: Exactly how do you mean? Mr. McGuire: There’s a great future in plastics. Think about it. Will you think about it?
It was a business that was successful from literally the year after its founding until 17 years later when it started to falter. Those early signs of weakness turned into the first massive loss of money in 1991. Then, just two short years later my father passed away after a very short, and unexpected, battle with cancer.
An only child graduating with a degree in Electrical Engineering I spent the six years previous to his death learning about different parts of the business. I spent time in a number of different departments and even spent a short while on the factory floor — not as a manager but someone working the equipment. The hands on time certainly made me no expert in the industry but it did give me at least some appreciation for the day to day and where the money is being made, and now lost. My father was doing his best to retire during those years and relied on other people to engage my learning. A mentor of what his success was and what drove him he was not.
Days after saying goodbye to him I named myself CEO and the President in place at that time COO. We did not have those subtitles previously — my father was simply the Chairman (of the board) and he had a President running the business. With my father now gone the bank, who was obviously worried about the current and future performance of the business, moved quickly to say, “These are the documents to assign the $800,000 personal guarantee from your father to yourself. Please sign…” For a family that had everything invested in the business any kind of personal guarantee was a laughable concept and besides—what else was there to do? No other bank would take the business and if they did not have what they wanted the loan would have been called. In other words, I could sign it, risk the failure of the business and lose everything, or not sign it, and walk away without anything.
So, there I stood with literally everything on the line. I knew I personally did not have the operating skill to take over the business—that was part of my rational for taking the CEO title. More importantly I knew did not want to learn the skills needed to take over the operating responsibility. No, it was not laziness, rather it just was something I knew deep inside I would not be able to be good at. Thus, I knew I had to rely heavily on someone who had those skills and it was my belief that the current president and I could work together to turn the business around.
Though I do not recall the exact time frame it was not long after everything was settled with my father’s passing that the president called me into his office and explained his history prior to joining the company, his work at the company building the business over the years in different areas while it was growing rapidly, to finally rising to the position that he was in today as president responsible for all operations. He wanted me to understand how hard everyone worked to get the business to where it is today. He acknowledged the difficulties we were facing financially but if we just work harder he knew we would be able to once again return to being a profitable company. Sitting there it was kind of like hearing a driver describe how they started out on a straight highway traveling without a worry in the world for 17 years and then having to slow down to read the “bridge closed” ahead signs. Up ahead I could now clearly see the bridge is not closed but it is literally gone, and in front of me is the driver saying if we just speed up again everything will be okay. That straight line thinking from the success of the past would not get us over the chasm of doom that was now in front of us.
Then came the moment of decision in the form of a question from him. He asked, “…and why are you the CEO and I am the COO?” Meaning, not that I should take his place, but rather why he was not named both President and CEO. It was this instant that I knew without a doubt that I had to find a new driver. I am sure he never understood what happened at that moment. I did not feel threatened. I did not care what was on my business card. I only had one thing in my field of vision—getting around the bridge that was out and I did not care who would find the answer. What I did know at that moment was the answer would not be coming from him so we parted ways.
Of course that idea freaked everyone out for as I mentioned earlier I had no intent to take over his position. Everyone was now in a panic mode wondering how we could possibly survive without a leader for operations. (A ‘leader’ that micromanaged down to approving magazine subscriptions for his direct reports) I did not know what was next but now I knew at least one thing for sure. We were no longer heading blindly for the bridge that was out. Yes, we still might, heck would probably, crash and burn in some horrible way in the months ahead but at least we would be trying something different. For as the title of this writing states: “It is more important to stop going in the wrong direction, than to know which direction is right.”
Those first steps in a new direction were over 20 years ago now. In case you are wondering — things worked out pretty well after all.
The first place I heard this story was from Tony Robbins at a UPW seminar. I actually forget the context it was in at the time but the story itself carried with me for all the years that followed. I am sure it has taken many forms with subtle changes but this is what I remember:
Once there was an old village. In this village, there were the villagers, and there was one odd farmer who lived on the outskirts of the village. He was a little bit different. The way he thought, his philosophy to life was just something that didn’t quite sit well with the rest of the villagers.
This farmer had a horse and one day, his horse went off and ran away. That was just as he went out and bought a new saddle for the horse. This horse ran away and took the saddle with it.
The villagers, hearing of this news, went to the farmer’s farm and said: “We’re so sorry! What bad luck you have. Your horse ran away.” The farmer looked at them and said: “Maybe it’s bad luck, but who knows? Maybe it’s good luck.”
They looked at him weird and said: “How could it be good luck? Your horse, your only horse ran away. What are you going to do now?” He said: “Well, we don’t know. Maybe it’s good luck, maybe it’s bad luck.” The villagers left his house scratching their heads and went back to their business.
A few days later, the horse returned to the farmer. It brought with it three wild horses. Now the farmer had his horse back, with the saddle, plus three new, untamed horses. The villagers, hearing of this news, made their way to the farmer’s house. They said: “Wow. What amazing luck you have!”
The farmer looked at them and said: “Maybe it’s good luck, but maybe it’s bad luck. Who knows?” The villagers looked at him puzzled. “How could you possibly say this was bad luck? You had one horse, it ran away, now you have that horse back and three new ones. This is amazing.” The farmer looked at them and said “Maybe it’s good luck, but maybe it’s bad luck.” The villagers left shaking their heads, not sure what to think.
Then a few days passed. The farmer’s son had to tame and train these new three horses. As he was trying to train one of them, it kicked him, knocked him down and he broke his leg over a rock. The rest of the villagers, hearing of this news made their way to the farmer’s house. They said: “We’re so sorry. What terrible luck you’ve had!” The farmer looked at them and said: “Maybe it’s terrible luck, but maybe it’s good luck.”
The villagers couldn’t stand this anymore. “How could you possibly say this is good luck? Your only son broke his leg. Surely this is the worst of luck?” The farmer looked at them, considered their suggestions and said: “Maybe it’s bad luck, but maybe it’s good luck.” The villagers were just aghast, and they walked away angry.
A few days later, as the son was recuperating from the broken leg, he was lying on the bed. The country officials came by through the village, and they were conscripting troops for the army, for the war that was going to be waged overseas. They rounded up all the able-bodied young men in the village to go off to die in battle. They didn’t take the farmer’s son, because he was not able to walk.
Or to put it more simply from Mizuta Masahide (水田 正秀, 1657–1723) who was a seventeenth-century (Edo period) Japanese poet and samurai:
Barn’s burnt down — now I can see the moon.
From my life I am certain I can dig up many examples of this theme but the one that continues to amaze me is my story of LeVar Burton.
In 2005 I won an auction for the benefit of the Nation Press Club to “Give your child a priceless gift: reading time with actor LeVar Burton.” After winning the auction there was quite a delay to here anything back about coordinating dates or any other details. Enough of a delay where I could have wondered if this was going to be one of those promises that never get fulfilled. So I waited patiently until about two months later where we got the surprise of a personal message LeVar left at the home answering machine. (Remember those things?) Turns out he was without a personal assistant at the time, just coming back from being out of the country, and thus communicated an apology for the delay as he managed the fulfillment of the auction win himself.
I am sure when he offered his services as an item for the auction he did not expect to be bothered with the details of dealing with the winner, scheduling, setting up the logistics, and so on…but so here we were, over the next couple of months, trading calls back and forth to setup a visit to a school — instead of just one child—for the gift of reading time with the man who is “Reading Rainbow.” The visit was amazing. I do, however, remember it starting with a hotel elevator that was out of order at the time and picking up a sweaty LeVar before beginning a few outstanding hours being the rock star of the day for the entire school.
The auction item did not include travel expenses and since LeVar was out this way for something else he only asked for the car service to get into the area from his previous engagement, along with the hotel, to be covered. Covering the hotel was easy. When he checked out I paid for his stay. The car expense, however, was something to be settled later when he had the bill for the service that was already rendered. He had my address, and even left me a message to say that he would be sending it, but nothing ever showed up in the mailbox — or in email for that matter. Yes, I had his personal phone numbers but who am I to stalk someone’s private time for an invoice. It might seem odd but I placed that value even above the firm value of not owning anybody anything.
So time passed and in 2010 I saw that LeVar was going to be at a local Chiller Theatre Expo. The interesting thing on this point is not only can I not explain why I saw this fact but nor can I explain, and never asked, why he was going to be there in the first place. Reading Rainbow / Kunte Kinte / Geordi La Forge at a Chiller Theatre Expo? Just didn’t make sense. Anyway, I actually looked at it as an opportunity to say hello again and tell LeVar that I was still looking to pay that car service bill from 2006.
Not having tickets in advance, nor any experience of being at an expo like this before, I was not exactly prepared for the chaos of getting to the right place at the right time but somehow it all managed to work out and as recognition lighted in his eyes it turned out to be a nice 3 minute reunion to which he, of course, had no memory about not being repaid as promised for the car service. Some might think this was relief for me but as “a Lannister always pays his debts” now what the heck was I to do?
Yes, I am a Star Trek fan. Yes, I am a Reading Rainbow fan. Yes, I remember LeVar from Roots. However, what impressed me the most was seeing the passion he placed into the simple task of reading when he made the visit to the school back in 2006. At the time of seeing him again shooting was just wrapped on my first Executive Producer film credit for the SyFy movie “Jabberwock” which was in production in Bulgaria. Having just begun a partnership in a film studio out of Vancouver, BC I did not even have business cards for that venture yet but I did take the two seconds to tell him what I was up to and handed him my investment company business card in the off chance that there was any opportunity to work together in the future. Looking at the card he did mention there actually might be something to talk about, which I did not take to mean for much at the time, and from there we said our goodbyes and so ended the my first and only experience at a Chiller Theatre Expo.
At the opening of 2011 I was rather surprised to actually get that call from LeVar explaining he wanted to bring Reading Rainbow back—taking the form of interactive digital children’s books with the thesis being during the days of Reading Rainbow the TV was the place where kids found their entertainment whereas now it is on the iPads and other tablet devices instead. So began the journey to invest in a legacy that would start as an iPad app delivered to the public in 2012.
For most any company starting it takes some money to get into business and at some point further down the road it takes more money to expand that business into something that has enough mass to be able to grow and thrive on its own. This statement is certainly true for what was started here and one would think this would be easy, or at least not difficult, after releasing an app for the iPad that grew nearly overnight into the number one spot for Education titles on the iTunes store. Well, it wasn’t. Due to several failed trails and false trials we were faced with looking towards using Kickstarter as a possible solution to bring the app to other platforms and into the classroom where we knew there could be a much larger impact.
Thus, on May 29th the Bring Reading Rainbow Back for Every Child, Everywhere! Kickstarter campaign was launched with the goal of raising $1,000,000 over 35 days. 11 hours later we met that goal which later turned into a record for the Kickstarter with the most backers ever to date. Having raised a total of $5,408,916 from backers and another $1,000,000 from Seth MacFarlane in matching funds the company can now deliver on the promises made for access and expansion.
Having to wait for an extended period of time to get a reply, not having a PA at a time when they would be especially useful, not getting an invoice — and on the flip side not getting paid, booked at Chiller Theatre Expo, not having the ‘right’ business card, having the #1 app for Education, failing to find further funding, having the number one Kickstarter for backers, and, no, the story doesn’t end there…
Some challenges lead to the best things that happen in life whereas some successes do not necessarily make things any easier going forward. The real choice we have to either watch others play the game or decide for ourselves to be on the court of life. Though there may not be a way to ultimately win the game of life you can certainly get better at it by spending more time practicing than observing.
As Steve Jobs said at his Stanford Commencement address:
Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever.
Today I was speaking to a friend and the subject came up about his involvement in a not for profit public speaking program. New Jersey Orators, Inc looks to “improve the public speaking skills of New Jersey children between 7 and 18 years of age, thereby, increasing their self-confidence, academic success, leadership skills and ability to maximize career choices and academic success.” I love the idea and the fact that they are operating in addition to what might already be available in the mainstream education system.
Being an introvert I am sure being pushed further by such a program would have done wonders for me in my current years. The public school I attended had no public speaking program whatsoever—though on a practical matter I probably would have chosen the dentist over doing this anywhere. At the same time I ponder if we are not missing a more important piece of the puzzle for success when it comes to speaking and listening skills. One to many is useful when looking to communicate your ideas effectively, sitting in an audience (many to one) is what children do every day in a classroom, but for 1–2–1 skills there might be a gap larger than what is serviced by a debate club type of experience.
Meeting interesting people can almost be shifted into saying meeting people is interesting. True, a smaller subset seem have a treasure chest of known experiences to grow on but everyone has a story to be told. Whether it is a warning for others, an example to strive towards, or just another point of view to connect to, I believe if you master the skill of the one to one then you have the key to solve all of the world’s problems. It is your chance to learn, to teach, to brainstorm, and to grow all in one moment.
There have been books written on small talk — that polite conversation about unimportant or uncontroversial matters, especially as engaged in on social occasions — that drive me nuts. I have seen situations where a successful person is in the room and people are afraid to approach. Yes, it is easier to talk about how you are a fan of their work, or right-hook into the obvious subject they are known for, however, I believe the more important talk lies somewhere in between. When you are able to ask a meaningful question and have someone pause in thought saying, “No one has ever asked me that before…” then you know you are on the right track to a conversation that will stick with you for perhaps the rest of your life.
We all need a skill set to help us find, and open, the doors we do not even know exist when we begin a conversation. We need the ability to explore the true unknown as if we were the old world settlers of what is now America traveling west without the knowledge and preconceptions of what we might find. Some reading this might latch on to this analogy and link to what was done to the Native Americans while this unknown became the known from the perspective of the settlers. Indeed you will face choices of judgment on every path you explore and the challenge will be if you have the skill set to try on those shoes knowing you do not have to buy them. To understand why they work, or worked, for someone else and to perhaps, if you are lucky enough, to invite them to try yours on risk free as well.
With all of the focus on public speaking and debate is there something more important the education system is missing? If we are not learning and growing then we are dying. Does osmosis give us all the skill required for this type of communication or is something more focused needed to produce better results in the ever-accelerating world around us? Something to think about…
After writing the above I supported a campaign on Kickstarter for CONNECT. It is a deck of cards based on the idea that real connection comes down to the quality, and order, of the questions that we ask. You can learn more about the cards here.
Tony Robbins has a seminar called Unleash the Power Within (UPW) where, on the first evening, people do a firewalk as a symbol of turning fear into power. At a recent UPW in Dallas there were two people that had very different firewalk experiences one that saw everyone walk over hot coals and one that said most of the people they talked to did not attempt it. I submit they are both correct.
How is this possible? I remember seeing a film quite a few years back called “The Secret.” As described in the film, the “Law of Attraction” principle posits that feelings and thoughts can attract events, feelings, and experiences, from the workings of the cosmos to interactions among individuals in their physical, emotional, and professional affairs. It may sound like a lot of mumbo jumbo, however, bear with it for a moment. Deepak Chopra’s Seven Principles of SynchroDestiny is not that far off from the subject covered in the film and if you refuse to go down those roads the science behind the matter is our brains are expert filter machines. There is simply too much going around us, and within us, to take in. To say it another way — you get what you focus on. Look around wherever you are at the moment. Find everything you can see that has the color brown on it and make a mental list. Now close your eyes and try to remember everything around you that was red.
So, how can both observers be correct? If you focus on the firewalk experience as being important and transformational you might not be able to find anyone in the room who is not doing it. If, however, you focus on the opposite of this, for whatever your reasons are, then all you will see are the “hoards” of people not going through with the experience. The scientist in you might want to have a look at the numbers but also remember that statistics can be used to prove anything. (It may not be on topic but click here for a fun look at correlations)
The strange thing I have found in life is that ripple effects of your focus seem to stretch far beyond what can be logically seen. I have not been to a live Robbins event in many years, however, my last Tony story is actually quite recent. I received an email with a link to a video (3 Ways to Strengthen Your Body and Get Energy) of Tony mentioning a few key tips for better health. (It was marked not to be shared so I am assuming you are not going to find it on YouTube or elsewhere) One of the tips referenced MCT oil and a recommended brand by the name of “Bulletproof.” He said he had no financial connection to the business and just wanted to share the brand recommendation. It seemed like a simple thing to test out in my own life so I ordered it…but the story does not end there…
The Bulletproof website seemed interesting so I clicked on the Facebook “like” button and started seeing updates, not about products, but more the thoughts of Dave Asprey, the “Bulletproof Executive,” the person behind the brand…but the story does not end there…
Less than six months after seeing that video from Tony, I found myself sitting down at a dinner next to Dave Asprey. (By “found myself sitting down” I mean I was with a group of about 50 people getting together for an XPRIZE event and I had no idea who would be on this trip until after signing up for it) So, we spent that entire dinner time talking about bio hacking, his business, and more…but the story does not end there…
A month later someone wanted me to download a copy of a free for limited time “Sugar Impact Diet — 2-Week Cookbook” while they were deeply immersed in UPW. (They received the suggestion from their doctor while at the event and simply had no time to do it themselves) My response? Already did it the day before per a suggestion from Dave Asprey…but the story does not end there…
Where the story goes from here will need to be written in the months to come because it has not happened yet — or I am otherwise not able to publish it yet. The emphasis on the above is not only were the events not planned but, by definition, could not be planned because I had no clue as to who the people or the products were before they came into my life. The law of attraction? SynchroDestiny? Coincidence? Luck? Call it whatever you wish while I enjoy the journey.
A final thought…
Unlike the example using colors above, real mastery of focus comes from training the subconscious and not the conscious mind. Think the “wax on, wax off” from the Karate Kid. It is the not the ability to think of the solution to a problem but rather to take the steps towards a solution without thinking. Mastery makes things look easy and almost mystical. While it is easy for all to desire the end result few will put in the work to get there.
