The Scoop Blog on the Dallas Morning News ran a story summarizing Mark Cuban’s tips for the winner(s) of the now unicorn status Powerball jackpot. In all it was really great wisdom for the person (or people) that will share the task of living life past that winning ticket day. For the words that follow let’s assume one person wins and being wealthy is something they never experienced before. Thus, here are three challenges to overcome even if they are lucky enough to read Mark Cuban’s advice:
#1 — Failure Leaves Clues
The first challenge will be the concept that your winnings are not a bottomless pool of money that will last until you die no matter what you do with it and on top of that, only good things will happen now that you have tons of cash. Assuming you ignore Mark’s tip of not taking the lump sum what are you left with in your bank account at the end of the tax year? Well, depending on what state you live in it could drift below the $400M markassuming the $1.4B jackpot number. The first hard reality you will need to face is that people will call you a billionaire even though you are not even half way there anymore. “So what?,” you might say, well with that level of wealth comes possible personal and family security issues — so, in addition to hiring a tax attorney you may need to deal with all forms of harassment the likes of which you never could even imagine previously being the first unicorn lottery winner.
As Tony Robbins says, “Success leaves clues.” In other words, find success and model it to in turn become successful yourself. In this case you may wish to change the phrase around to “Failure leaves clues.” Spend most of your first year with your money figuring out what did not work for others and do your best to not repeat history. If divorce, the death of a daughter, robbery, drugs, etc, doesn’t sound like a plan for your fortune look up the story of Jack Whittaker’s $314,900,000 winning ticket. His is only one of many. Yes, there are people who have done well after winning huge amounts of money in the lottery but unfortunately they seem to be the outliers. Take your time to figure the road to success out after focusing on all of the problems you probably never thought possible before buying that winning ticket.
#2 — Expertise is Not Close By
Have children? Want to leave them with enough, however you define that, after you pass away? Welcome to estate taxes. Want to give away money to friends, family or other people in need? Welcome to gift taxes. Want to give away money to charitable organizations? Welcome to limits on tax deductions.
Think you can give like Mark Zuckerberg or Bill Gates? There is a huge difference in giving away stock with practically no basis of cost to you versus giving away hard cash you already paid tax on. Mark Cuban raised a lot of feathers advising people to say “no” to family and friends. In reading the comment on the blog his first emphasis seems to be on tax considerations however the larger issue is understanding when giving can produce bad results. Read the The Millionaire Next Door and learn a little bit about what the possible downsides to giving are. Ignore the chaos of the winning moment and realize the first thing the money should buy you is free time to figure all of this out!
Besides your own research who will help you sort this all out? The temptation of human nature, for the most part, seems to be reaching out to whatever is closest. Need help with tax advice and have someone you are already working with, or a friend or family member in the business, or knows someone, or knows someone who knows someone? Don’t do it. Going to take that big check to your current bank? If they are of any reasonable size they probably will have huge smiles on their faces introducing you to their private client group. Go somewhere else. Expertise is not close by, it is not cheap, it is not something you can completely delegate away — but the good news, especially in today’s interconnected world, it is easily found. Heck, reach out to Mark Cuban himself and get a reference of where to go. If you now have $400M in the bank you can make that happen. Speaking of banks — even if you take Mark’s wise advice on not making investments you still need to figure out where you are going to put all of that cash. Don’t want to speak to Mark — then join an organization like TIGER 21. As stated on their website:
TIGER 21 is North America’s premier peer-to-peer learning network for high net worth investors. TIGER 21 Members collectively manage approximately $35 billion in investable assets. Members are entrepreneurs, CEOs, inventors and top executives with backgrounds in financial services, real estate, industrial and consumer goods, legal services, entertainment and medicine.
Yes, it might state that it is a network for high net worth investors, but if you become a part of that group with the simple, and open, goals of not losing all your money, fucking up your life, and that of your family, you will be helped in ways beyond all of your imagination — even it is just investing your cash in “cash”. Also, don’t worry about the entrepreneurs, CEOs, inventors and top executives thing — lottery winners is not a big enough demographic for them to target and you would be more than welcome.
#3 — Your Friends and Family Will Change
It’s true. You life is now upside-down and no matter if you take Mark’s advice, or not — become wonderfully fulfilled by your winnings, or wish you never purchased the ticket, the bottom line truth will become that your friends and family will change. You will discover why people are around you. You will find some people are there because they took pleasure in being better than you, however they wished to define that, and now that you have more money than they do they will not be able to handle it. Some enjoy things exactly as they are, and when and if, you decide to change your life they will not be able to handle it. Some will make that ask that Mark mentioned in his tips and the trouble here is whether you take his advice and say no, or ignore his advice, and say yes, more than likely either road will lead to regret and second thoughts.
Change is going to happen. The change you want is to sleep better at night, make your family stronger, and help make the world a better place. The trick is the path required to make this happen is not obvious and not without pain. As Mark said, “If you weren’t happy yesterday you won’t be happy tomorrow. It’s money. It’s not happiness.” Use the money to find the roads to happiness and not as a shortcut to the things you believed in the past were missing in your life.
“A lot of people get so hung up on what they can’t have that they don’t think for a second about whether they really want it.”
― Lionel Shriver, Checker and the Derailleurs
If you happen to be the winner and actually read this I will leave you with one last word on the topic of advice. Advice is a strange animal. Many people ask for it, but for some odd reason few actually take it. I believe the answer may be in the possible fact that they are not really looking for advice. They are, instead, looking for confirmation that the path they already know is wrong, yet is far more comfortable, is the right one to take. Thus, if someone gives them ‘good’ advice that goes against the road of comfort they do not even hear it in their brain but, if someone supports their road of comfort they become best friends forever — ask yourself how that worked out for Michael Jackson? You don’t need ‘yes men’. You need to find a peer group, like TIGER 21 or something else, that will give you advice because they have been there before, they made mistakes, they somehow made it through, they care, and they get absolutely no reward from helping you other than the warmth of saving someone from a greater pain they may have already experienced. Good luck and Godspeed…
With the 2015 United Nations Climate Change Conference just finishing I thought it was timely to bring up an old story I wrote in the days before Medium. Sylvia Alice Earle talks about the misconception that the oceans are too big to fail. With different issues coming to light in today’s world — be it the Deepwater Horizon oil spill, overfishing, the Pacific Trash Vortex, the previously mentioned climate change conference, or some other piece of news it would seem that this is not the case but I think a greater illustration of this fact is relating the size of the oceans to our planet in general. David Gallo, Director of Special Projects, Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution, Woods Hole, MA came up with a simple illustration that everyone who calls this planet home should understand.
You might need to enlarge the photo above to really understand what you are seeing. The Earth is obvious. The first blue ball to the right of it is the total volume of the oceans of the Earth, and the tiny blue speck further to the right is the volume of all the freshwater on the planet. Now imagine if you had a basketball that represented the Earth and a cup of water proportional to the salt water volume. If your task was to spread that around the ball to model the oceans it would not be an easy task.
Now what do you think? When I originally wrote the story someone looked into the phrase ‘to big to fail’ to better understand Sylvia’s words. The first thing that comes to mind is the meaning associated with large institutions. That is, that they are too important to be allowed to fail. Though this idea would be nice when applied to the oceans of the Earth the intended meaning is that they seem so big in scale how could anything we do to them really change anything? In further translation, what both David and Sylvia are saying that the human effect on the oceans is much greater than anyone perceives. In other words, no, they are not too big to fail…and yes, freshwater might be even a bigger problem for the future as well…
Quite a few years back when crewing an Anthony Robbins event I had the chance to meet Gary King who was Tony’s Director of Security and is now his Road Manager. Crewing a Robbins event is actually an event in itself. Outside of seeing Tony on stage, which some crew members never get the chance to do, there is a lot of learning going on within the crew — some formalized and some not. It was there when I learned about Gary’s “The Power of Truth” effort which I found quite interesting. I connected with his mantra because I believe I live the life he promotes and I remember posting his information in some long lost place on the internets. A comment came back from someone I knew who thought it odd that someone could even make a business out of the subject of telling the truth. Not so much that he did not agree as well but rather just the odd concept of having a business to promote this lifestyle. (as seen from someone not a native to the United States — assuming that fact even makes a difference)
Over the months, and most likely years, since that event the subject of truth has circled in my thoughts in a slightly different light after spending time with Gary. I have never been through any of his programs but even the short time crewing together gave me at least a glimmer of a reference to shift my own thoughts with a little more perspective. To add to this reference I was recently listening to a Tim Ferriss podcast where he mentioned the book “Lying” by Sam Harris. Just the title alone got me, and the note of it being a short book made it a priority in the queue as well.
I am not going to make any attempt to review points in the book, which I highly recommend reading, or say Gary’s programs are the answer to your life’s woes — however, I do submit the idea that a massive change in your life can come from the simple concept of being both honest with yourself and those around you. In the “world according to me”, a phrase I use when I am sure there are equally valid counter opinions, I see the art of lying being taught to kids everyday. A child wants to play with your iPhone, or turn on the TV, when he is not allowed to so I hear people say they are ‘broke’ when everything is in perfectly fine working order. If other things are off limits then stories are made up that are frankly so bizarre I wonder where the imagination comes from to get them out of the brains of parents — stories that would send a feature script right into the reject bin because they are so implausible. When someone dies, or has a serious illness, it is common to tell a child lies to “protect” them from the truth until they are old enough to handle it. Maybe you have heard the threat of, “if you do not stop that right now we are going to leave,” without the possibility of actually leaving ever being real. Worse yet, I have seen some parents use ‘reverse psychology’ to get their children to do what they want them to do by telling them to do the opposite — now, tell me, how does that rewire a growing brain to understand forward psychology (if there is such a term)?
Of course when those children grow up to be parents, or even when interacting with other adults, some of those manipulations manage to come out in everyday life. As with anything one needs to understand where practical limits are. You will see me telling people “not to smile” when it is obvious that I am wanting them to smile for a photo. The involuntary reaction is priceless, everyone is ‘in’ on the joke, and I do not consider it lying. On the flip side I have attempted to cut back on the brutal honesty I sometimes show when, for example, given a gift that I would never use — and now after reading Sam’s book I wonder if that is actually a problem to cut back on but rather an opportunity for deeper communication.
The larger question for me is how much control one has in really changing a way of life once wired in a particular way. Change is usually best taken incrementally. Built on over time to grow a palace stone by stone. However, if one is stuck on the side of falsity it doe not seem practical to ease into a life of truth. Maybe for this paradox Gary does have the answer — The The 24 Hour Truth Challenge®. For one day, you decide to tell the truth. You don’t lie to yourself or anyone else,” says Gary, “This causes a shift in your consciousness; you are now paying attention.”
Somewhat off subject, and probably just as transformational, is eliminating complaints from our everyday life. Will Bowen has a simple strategy to give this a try. It is a ‘product’ he calls Complaint Free Bracelets. Simply put the bracelet on either wrist and every time you complain switch it to the other wrist. (Hint, you can do the same thing with any type of bracelet) The goal is to go 21 consecutive days without complaining or switching the bracelets. Hmm… maybe Gary, or someone else, should sell ‘Truth Always’ bracelets — if you ever see someone switching those on their wrists it would be a guaranteed interesting conversation!
A long time ago in a career far, far away I used be part owner in a tool and die shop. I remember when we setup a new work area we had an amazing coating installed on the concrete floor that was nice to look at, wonderfully non-skid, and most importantly it held up to the brutal environment of the heavy steel being transported on a daily basis over it.
It worked out so well that when I bought my second home I wanted that coating to go on top of the usual, stained, cracked, and unattractive garage floor you could imagine from any previously occupied house. Thus, I asked who we used and if they would be interested in a small residential project. The surprise that came back for me was that, since I was an owner of the business they were servicing, they would do the job for free.
Instead of just saying yes to what seemed to be a very generous offer I asked a trusted person, who worked for me in another business, what I should do. His advice was to get a bill and pay for the service. You never want to find yourself sometime in the future where you owe them for giving you the job for “free.”
As simple as the advice was it actually made total sense for me and it is something I have lived by ever since. Sure, it is great to have a network of vast skill sets to call on but the lesson learned is to never have anything get in the way of use using the best solution available, for a fair price, even if that means changing providers somewhere down the road.
This word comes up a lot — especially in mission statements which are used as a way of communicating the purpose of the organization. Yet, somehow it seems more emphasis is placed on the moral implications rather than on congruency.
My challenge to you is to keep things simple. When we focus on the morals of what is right and what is wrong, then it becomes a conversation of who is right and who is wrong. Focus first on being true to your word. In other words, make your word your bond, while at the same time, being congruent with your words. True, do this when that bond is with others and even more importantly do it for when you make a bond with yourself.
Do this completely and three things will happen:
No one will need to figure out your morals. It will not be a battle of who has it right, or who has it wrong. You have permission to be who you are and reap the rewards or suffer the consequences as others for at last know who you really are.
You will separate yourself from the majority of the pack that are left changing their rules seemingly with the wind. Sure, you can still change your mind but with integrity used this way you will do it based on new information and the choices will usually set new courses of direction rather than making exceptions.
Your peer group will slowly change around you. Separating yourself from the majority — assuming you use your powers for good — will attract others that value the same goals you do and help make the world a better place.
Unlike organized religion, that seems to push morals upon others, having integrity requires no cooperation to be complete. In terms from the #AskGaryVee show referenced above it is about playing the marathon and not the sprint. To influence the outcome you need to become the outcome. Get it right, inspired others will join you. Do this not by holding a sign, or attempting to instill your rules upon others, but rather by holding a congruent course that is easy for others to see and follow if they choose. For it also seems to be part of human nature that when one attempts to control the actions of others it is really a reflection of something broken within.
While this story was still in draft I listened to the Tim Ferriss interview with Kevin Costner and thought about how his story related to integrity. Specifically, Kevin recounted the decision to go to his first audition at time when the concept of becoming an actor was still something completely foreign to him. He was in his senior year of college and somehow connected to casting call for a Rumpelstiltskin play in the school newspaper. To make the longer story short on the way to the audition the accelerator in his old pickup truck broke and went to the floor at a time when there was stopped traffic in front of him. Yes, here he was accelerating rather than breaking with a hard wall of stopped traffic, and probable death, not far in front of him. Somehow he thought fast enough to push the clutch in and turn the engine off, coast to the side of the road in the emergency lane, and…
What would most people do at this moment after returning to safety?
For Kevin the answer was to hop over the fence, leave the dead car there without a worry, and hitchhike to that audition. An audition, which in the end, he did not get the part, yet still started his passion for an industry he nothing about. Some may call this determination, which is true to some degree. It is, however, the alignment between action and thought, and the consistency of thoughts, which is the foundation of integrity. Have this kind of integrity for yourself first, and then when working with others, will change around you.
When I articulated that I didn’t care anymore what anybody thought about what I did, except for me, all the weight of the world came off my shoulders and everything became possible. — Kevin Costner
